After his talk with Tatsuya, Eikichi ends up grabbing enough food for the rest of the day and resolves to stays in his room to think and take care of Jackson. Maybe draw something or two. Or probably fill his entire new sketchbook at this point. Of a single person.
He's so, so stupid.
The day rolls into evening, the evening rolls into night. At least, he's pretty sure as his leaf warns him it's close to his usual bedtime and he looks back at his drawings before closing his sketchbook, when he stops at his page where he'd been searching for Junpei, his eyes wide when he spots his writing.
If I'm ever lost again, this is where you'll find me.
"Liar." He says to the cold walls. "You're not even here..."
The room feels empty. Somehow emptier than when Junpei had disappeared the first time. The routine is surprisingly faster than usual, since he hadn't really bothered much this morning anyway. Jackson takes the entire bed next to him and he falls asleep in silence.
A dreamless night that leads to a routine morning awakening, and he gets up, sighs, and goes on autopilot again. Looking at himself in the mirror before slamming his fist on the sink, to avoid getting seven years of bad luck.
He should. He needs to talk to him. But he's afraid. Even after yesterday's talk he's terrified. Tatsuya was right, Eikichi was ride or die with someone. But what if that person wanted to just push him away? That pain...it would be like Miyabi again, and Eikichi doesn't know if he can change again or if that would just become a hopeless, crying shadow of himself.
"My other self. I will protect you no matter what."
Right. He can't just wait forever. He can't be just the small, shy, scared chubby kid he was once. Hell, he can't be like the image he projects now. He needs to stop hiding behind that fear and embrace uncertainty.
We should talk.
Come to my room.
Somehow, the leaf does him a solid, and actually punctuates the letters for him properly for the first time he's here.
Junpei hates this. Tatsuya recommended taking the day, but when Junpei's alone again, all he can think about is his mistake and how he fucked it all up and he should apologize. He'd let Eikichi do all the apologizing for something he didn't even do, trying to assure him it was fine and before Junpei could even work up the courage to fess up, Eikichi was out the door. And for the rest of the day, it was silence -- which only led Junpei to get it into his head all the more that he truly and royally fucked up. So what does he do from here?
He doesn't know. He has his leaf out and several times he's pulled up their text, a place that had been full of dumb chatter, late night ramblings, or just status checks as Junpei was feeling lazy and wanted to hunt Eikichi down. This is until the chat devolved into several one-sided and unanswered texts on Eikichi's end -- trying to get Junpei to respond. The last one is dated the day he got back. And then it had been a notable silence. At one point, Junpei actually types 'i'm here' but then deletes it and tosses his leaf to the side. As far out of reach as he could.
Eikichi is clearly avoiding him. So...Junpei should respect his space. He didn't last night and that's what led to all this in the first place. So he'll just....go to bed. And he tries, but it's all sleepless. If he isn't hyperfocused on his fuck up with Eikichi, then he's thinking about everything back home. And this is how he spends his night. Come morning, he's only finally starting to doze off when the sharp sound of his leaf goes off. Awake and attentive all at once, Junpei practically bolts to the device -- grabbing it and hesitating to look. What if it's not Eikichi? What if he gets his hopes up for nothing?
But when he finally looks down, he feels like he can breathe again. It is Eikichi! He read it and then the dread of the message sinks in. It's....pretty serious. Even written all proper-like. Is.....that a bad sign? Is Junpei about to be dumped as a friend?? Well, maybe he can save this. First, he responds just so Eikichi knows he's here:
ok
And that's it. Junpei throws on a pair of clothes and makes his way to Eikichi's room. He stands at the door, collects all the courage he has, and then enters -- immediately launching into his apology. "I'm so sorry, man. It was my fault. I should have said something sooner. There you were taking all the blame and I was the one who laid down next to you in the first place. My head was a mess and I wasn't thinking clearly and holding onto you felt like the only real thing in the world and then I fell asleep like that....and I didn't mean for it to--"
If Eikichi doesn't cut him off, Junpei's about to keep talking in circles here.
Eikichi had played over many scenarios in his head in the past few minutes.
That Junpei wouldn't reply, which thankfully wasn't the case.
That Junpei wouldn't really care, and the answer he gave back worried him.
That Junpei would tell him to forget it, he wasn't sure what was happening right now. Was trying to apologize for what Eikichi had done to him? Or had Junpei done it? Fuck, he doesn't know anymore. His head is spinning. Memories of when he was much younger surfacing and what happened then. Humiliation. Change. Fear. He's only half-listening because his ears start ringing, his heart beating. There's something bubbling over his entire body that makes him close his eyes briefly and a need to shut out all the noise. Suddenly, he moves with surprising speed from where he was standing when Junpei walked in, and he pins the other boy to the wall like he'd done for so many students at Kasugayama High, holding him with both hands by the collar.
"Enough!"
His tone of voice is lower, like the time he'd 'threatened' him with the sushi knife. Not exactly angry, but there's something visceral about it. His red-orange eyes glare at him as his breathing increases. Like he's searching for something behind the other's gaze. Something. Anything. Hades told him he had his back. Alright then. Let's just cut to the chase and pass Junpei through the lie detector test. Lay it all bare in its purest form and stop dancing around it. After all, if it fails, it's not like they'd stay friends anyway. Who'd want to be when a guy who reacts like that when you apologize to them, after all.
Junpei's not sure what he expected, but it definitely was not this. He sucks a breath in through his teeth as his back hits the wall and his eyes raise to meet Eikichi's sharply. No. No, no. Not like this. Even though Eikichi grasps him tight, is this him slipping away? Is he truly angry about what Junpei had done? God, is he going to lose Eikichi right on the heels of losing Chidori? His grasps at Eikichi's wrists -- not to pry him off, but perhaps to keep him from leaving.
The question, however, is like a slap in the face. Junpei looks up at Eikichi with rising horror because he can't read his tone. He doesn't know what will happen when he answers. And Eikichi has effectively trapped him -- tell the truth and he'll know. Tell a lie and he'll know. Either way, it'll come out now unless he chooses not to answer. But somehow that feels like the worst possible thing he could do.
There's a brief moment of shame and he looks away, like he's done something wrong just by liking him. But in the end, Junpei does what he has to -- for the sake of their relationship. Maybe he can still salvage this if it all goes bad. He draws in a breath, meets Eikichi's eyes and faces this head on. Come what may.
"Yeah." It's no lie. And Junpei follows it up with: "So what? What's wrong with that? It's not like anything has to change!"
His gaze stays firm as he watches Junpei look away horrified. Each second feels like waiting for eternity, making the pit of his stomach burn. The shame in Junpei's eyes, reflected back at Eikichi for being this brash. Stupid! Stupid! Ta-chan had given him actual advice and he blew it, strung up by his own emotions and a need to finish this as soon as possible. Why couldn't he do this right?! He wants to weep as he starts to shake, possibly mistaken by Junpei for him getting angrier. Why couldn't---
Yeah.
Everything stops. All the pressure, the steam, released suddenly. Not exactly the type of confession Eikichi had imagined, but it's so very Junpei he almost wants to cry. A weight that's been lifted of his shoulders, he briefly lowers his head to the wall next to Junpei, still holding on to him.
"Finally, the mind follows the heart." Hades? What?
"...No you fucking idiot." He replies. "This changes everything!" His voice is low, dangerous. Every word is deliberately slow, weighted. Deep breaths. One, two, three, he doesn't know how long he stares at the ground to compose himself. He likes him. He understands what Hades means now as he traces back steps of their interactions together. There were...so many clues. It was so obvious. Each time Eikichi thought it was just the type of guy Junpei was. When had it begun? When did they go from being friends to having feelings for each other? How much had Junpei have to hide it as Eikichi continued to blissfully be himself? How did he not notice sooner?
He's the fucking idiot.
Eikichi takes another breath and looks back at him. His eyes deranged. Feeling like a tsunami building up inside his chest and coming closer and closer to land. Closer. He studies Junpei's face like it's the first time he's seen it in his life. Closer. The heat of their foreheads touching. Closer. The soft breath of the other touching his cheeks. Closer. He needs to be closer to him. To finish that connection that he didn't realize he had wanted this badly.
Eikichi hasn't let go of him. This is what Junpei clings to as Eikichi finally breaks that intense gaze and his forehead comes to lean against the wall beside him. It's dizzying. His heart thrashes against his ribcage, a potent reminder he's still alive. And in this moment, he's never felt more alive. This changes everything, he says. Junpei lets out a soft sound -- part way between a gasp and a question. Changes it how?
For a moment, all they share is space and air. Both of those things are decreasing by the moment. Changes it how?? But Junpei knows the answer as heat collects beneath his skin, coloring his cheeks. Eikichi is magnetic and Junpei is drawn ever closer to his pull. There's so much Junpei needs to tell him. So many things he should say, things he should explain, things they should talk about. Because they're supposed to be talking, right? Tatsuya definitely said to talk. But at the moment, Junpei's drowning and the only thing that could save him is Eikichi.
Releasing his grip on Eikichi's wrists now that there's no chance of Eikichi escaping him, Junpei instead plants his hands on Eikichi's cheeks and he crashes into him -- meeting the force of that impending wave with his lips. It's desperate. It's bruising. It's months of pent up tension finally getting some resolution. He'd spent quite some time imagining this moment. It was never like this, but Junpei prefers this, he thinks. It's clumsy. It's mutual. It's them.
When did Eikichi realize? Was it sometime over their day apart? Was it only in this moment now? Was it during their week long separation? Or maybe like Junpei, it had been boiling beneath the surface all along and just needed the right catalyst to be brought to light. Junpei has so many questions. The kiss answers none of them, but Junpei can't seem to find it within him to pull back. Not now. Not ever.
The truth is Eikichi doesn't know himself. The lines blurred perhaps even at their first meeting. Then two days ago, that fear Junpei had in his eyes warning him not to go to the court. The way he had touched his hair. Crying on him. The...everything else, really. Why the fuck is he thinking about all of that? All he knows is that now, now he won't waste anymore time. He's living for the moment.
I'd bet he'd hate to lose what you guys have. "Suou, you fucking asshole," he thinks, "you knew didn't you?"
He lowers Junpei to the ground, gently, without breaking their connection. The heat burning and building in his stomach like he's swallowed fire from the kiss, the slight pain on his lips as he wants more. He feels so alive, with each loud thump of his beating heart. If only it could continue forever. But he needs air. After plunging into deep waters, he finally pulls back and draws a loud breath, still hunched over Junpei, his forehead to his. There are tears in his eyes as he laughs.
"Ha ha ha...maybe I should have taken that initial offer at the kissing booth. That might have speed things up sooner."
Junpei chases the kiss as Eikichi draws back, more than happy to suffocate if it meant continuing to be close to Eikichi. Luckily he doesn't go far. Their foreheads are still touching and Eikichi's only a few rasping breaths away. Unfortunately with the end of the kiss, Junpei's able to collect some of his thoughts. Now that the threat of losing everything has abated, now that the situation isn't as dire and desperate, Junpei feels a spike of anger.
Eikichi sets him down and Junpei gives him a shove. As far as shoves go, it's pretty toothless. He didn't even put enough strength behind it to knock Eikichi over -- because he doesn't really want him to go far. "You fucking asshole! Who fucking does that?? Who fucking forces someone to confess in the most menacing way possible?!"
Eikichi, apparently. Honestly maybe Chidori, too. Fuck. Junpei's seeing his type so damn clearly right now.
"What if I wasn't ready?" He grumbles, anger already cooling to mild annoyance and with a sigh, it's gone entirely.
The shove probably feels like trying to push a hard wall. Eikichi barely moves back, and rubs the back of his hand on his head, embarrassed, briefly looking at the ceiling.
"Heh heh..." he chuckles under his breath before turning his gaze at Junpei again, adding, "Sorry, sorry. I panicked. I figured if you didn't, you'd avoid me and never want to be close again. And that...seemed better than having to see you all the time." It says a lot about Eikichi's mindset, and the sensitive subject of rejection and mockery that had affected his early life.
"Our friendship means everything to me, bro. I wouldn't have let you cut me out of it." Of course, now it's not only a friendship. Because that kiss had definitely solidified this as a mutual thing. He reaches out to take Eikichi's hand and to bring it up to his heart. Junpei holds it there, thumb brushing Eikichi's knuckles as Junpei's eyes linger on Eikichi's chest.
"This doesn't have a happy ending. You know that, Eiki-chin. Someday we're gonna go home and we won't remember any of this." It's with an odd amount of maturity that Junpei speaks. Had this happened before, he would have sworn he could fight the powers that be and get them some kind of nice, neat happily ever after. But Junpei now knows things are bleak for both of them and he won't approach it with blind optimism. "I'm also not the same guy I was just a week ago..."
He looks up, meeting those red-tinted eyes. Junpei could so easily get lost in Eikichi's gaze. "I like you, Eikichi. So much. I didn't know it until those last few nights I was here... but I think I have for a while now. Fuck. Maybe I always did? But I'd get it if you'd rather...just stay friends, knowing everything we know."
"I know...I would have tried anyway." It's stupid. Maybe it's why it took him longer to realize what was happening, unconsciously afraid of losing him like he'd lost Miyabi as a child. Knowing that he wouldn't ever see him again. He lets his hand be taken to feel the other's heartbeat. It's funny, really, how movements that seemed simple just a few weeks ago as 'typical Junpei' seem to carry more weight now.
"Wouldn't be the first time I get threatened with losing my memories, right?" he smirks, looking at him dangerously again. Sorry Junpei, but he's not going to leave you now. "Yeah, you're right, you sound more mature." Eikichi gives him a slight hit of his elbow in Junpei's stomach, teasing. "Or maybe not? You're really fucking stupid if after all of that, you'd think I just want to stay friends, Iori."
Junpei snorts in faint amusement when Eikichi elbows him and then doubles down. It's honestly what he expected him to do. Eikichi had been much stronger than Junpei when it came to facing his inevitable future back home. Why would he have any second thoughts about proceeding here? Maybe one day Junpei could carry that same kind of strength. Maybe it's something he could even learn from Eikichi.
For now, it looks like they're doing this? Yeah. They're doing this. It's funny how it can simultaneously feel like nothing and everything has changed.
"Okay."
It's a simple agreement yet significant. God, Junpei burns with a need to kiss Eikichi again. But there's still something else. Something left unspoken. "I need to show you something."
Junpei finally lets go of Eikichi's hand and he steps into his own space, pausing for a moment to look for Jackson. He holds up one finger in a silent bid for Eikichi to give him a minute and he picks up the cat, turning to where the bathroom usually appears. Junpei brings Jackson there just to protect his sensitive ears, murmuring an assurance that he'll let him out in just a few minutes. And then Junpei returns to Eikichi, removing his evoker and bringing it to his head. He summons his persona the typical way, but what appears is not Hermes. Well. Not entirely. Trismegistus floats there, an image of stark reds and golds.
"Eikichi...meet Chidori," he smiles sadly, glancing at the persona. "Remember how I said I died? Well, Chidori gave me her life so that I could live. Hermes and Medea joined and created Trismegistus. I always thought she'd like you. Now I know it's true in my heart." There's this sort of calm deep down. It's not a voice but a feeling -- a sense of approval for Eikichi. It's like she's offering her blessing. His eyes shine with unshed tears, but even so he's smiling. God. It just...he just feels happy for the first time since returning.
He repeats the word like they were entering a demon Contract Junpei where are his Magician cards. He looks a little confused. Wait, there's more? He waits, perplexed as the bathroom appears and and Junpei places Jackson in there.
A month. Right. A month was more than enough for him to go from Rhadamanthus to Rhadamanthus Prime to Hades. The fact Junpei had evolved his Persona wasn't a surprise. It's what it represented. Why Junpei was still here and how he'd been able to come back. Because of her. Eikichi owed her so much he didn't even know what to say and stood there a few seconds in dumb silence.
"I...Junpei...that type of love is one-of-a-kind," he says with a small smile. "But I think I know exactly how she felt." He'd offer his life for Junpei as much as he'd give it to Miyabi. It's a goddamn tragedy, but he understands exactly how Chidori was without having ever met her. Junpei seemed to have that effect on very specific people. The tears flow freely out of his eyes, making his mascara run. "You were...so lucky to have her."
It's funny. Most people at first glance would assume like they were each other's replacements, but it's far from that. You can't snuff out that type of love. You have to appreciate each burst of light for what it is. Death comes for all, after all, but it's also what makes life so precious and beautiful.
A warmth blossoms in his chest at Eikichi's acknowledgement of Chidori's sacrifice and his empathy. His statement about knowing how she felt flusters him a little, but only deepens that warm feeling inside him. He is absolutely ride-or-die for the people he's chosen. Yes. Yes, he sure is. And there's something to that word. Chosen. Eikichi chose Junpei, of all the people. And he wasn't the only one.
Twice. He was someone's choice twice.
He looks at Trismegistus and makes a silent promise to the part of him that's Chidori. He promises he won't waste a second with Eikichi. He promises he won't take the time they have for granted. He swears he'll live every day to its fullest by the other persona user's side. And Trismegistus nods its head as though in approval before fading away.
"The luckiest, man. I didn't know what we meant to each other until it was too late, though. But now she's with me and I'll never forget it." ....well, until he does. But maybe he won't. Tatsuya said something about his heart remembering. Maybe it will be like that with Chidori. And maybe it will be the same with Eikichi.
Junpei moves toward the bathroom to let Jackson come out. And his hand freezes on the door handle. With Eikichi. Wait. Wait a minute. His eyes widen and he looks at Eikichi suddenly. "I....saw you. Back home. On TV one night."
Jackson trots out. Junpei moves from the door. The bathroom disappears. How did he forget this?? "You were being interviewed. And I remember thinking 'wow. That guy looks cool as hell.'" It wasn't much. It wasn't recognition. But he'd stopped on the channel. He'd taken notice of Eikichi. And it made enough of a mark for him to remember it now. Eikichi is there in the world. In his world. And even if Junpei doesn't remember what they had here, he'll be facing off against Nyx so that Eikichi can keep living his successful life. That makes it worth it. That makes all of it worth it.
"Heh. My boyfriend's a time traveler."
Wait. He immediately goes red. Is....is that the right word? Boyfriend?
"The mind follows the heart, right?" He'd repeat Hade's line to him. "And your heart is overflowing with love."
He dries his tears as Junpei let's out the cat from the bathroom. Jackson gives a small mew at the both of them before it goes to sleep in its potted plant it had been so horribly taken out of suddenly. Rude.
Then Junpei drops a bombshell about his own future, and it piques Eikichi's curiosity. He knows he shouldn't really think about it, but it's hard to not be enticed by the idea.
"So I graced your television set and you remembered me? I hate to be a heartbreaker, but that was probably an older me, not your time travelling boyfriend." It was almost effortless how he had slipped into that role, pretty much how he was able to summon his persona. Eikichi had years of practise the fake it til you make it, after all. "But who knows what happens in the future, right?" He winks at him. "Let's think about the now, boyfriend."
Wait! How is Eikichi pulling this uno reverse on him?? Going from completely dense and oblivious about Junpei's feelings to now so confidently slipping into the boyfriend role. God. It's so criminally unfair how easy it is for Eikichi to make him flustered! Boyfriends, though. He likes the sound of it. He's boyfriends with the Great Michel~!
"Well, boyfriend. Your makeup's a little messed up right now. Not that I don't find you hot no matter what, buuut just sayin'. If you wanted to get cleaned up and you needed a hand, I got two to spare." Junpei teases right back. "Then again, you're not fifty, so I suppose you wouldn't need the help."
Just playfully throwing Eikichi's words back at him from the other night. Time to play a round of Eikichi's greatest missed opportunities with that reminder. Junpei makes his way toward one of the mattresses on the floor and plops onto it. Eyebrows raise in slight challenge as though to say: your move, bro.
"Awww come on, I didn't think you--" Eikichi deflates immediately, clicking the top of his tongue. Well, Junpei is right. It was a missed opportunity that he didn't realize he had wanted back then. God, how many times had Junpei thrown little hints at him and he'd just been blissfully unaware?
The he goes into the bathroom wordlessly and returns just as quickly with nothing but a small wet towel in his hands and sits himself right next to Junpei, his legs crossed together.
"Fine then, if you want to help me out, just take it all off." He lowers his voice slightly. "I don't think I'll be needing it for the rest of the day."
Junpei raises a brow at the message sent out to Tatsuya. Knew....what? Knew what!! But then Eikichi's leaving and Junpei lets out a little huff. He's not gone for too long, however...coming back, settling close, holding that towel. Junpei looks at him, a half smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "That a promise, bro? You do have a whole day of avoiding me to make up for..."
He accepts the towel and swabs it smoothly across Eikichi's skin. It's a funny thing. He can imagine doing this just as easily for both removing makeup and swiping up some blood after a fight. That's just the two sides of Eikichi Mishina, huh? Beautiful and dangerous. Of course, Eikichi's not only two sides. Junpei would liken him to something more like a diamond -- multi faceted and highly valuable (at least to Junpei).
"But it's fine, dude. You not catching on. Heh. I....only realized when you, uh. Borrowed Sumire's costume," he lets out a laugh -- half embarrassed but half genuinely amused. "It looked really fricken good on you."
And there he is, Eikichi Mishina without makeup, just a little red on the cheeks. He wasn't exactly a fan of the stuff he'd found around this world to emulate what he had at home, and they washed off so easily it put into question why he'd bother. But they were Eikichi's identity. He didn't let just about anyone see him without it on.
At that comment, he thinks back to when it happened and...
"Definiiiiiitely one of the reasons! But it was pretty fun, too. You gotta admit!"
He's not sure what to do with the damp towel now. Junpei doesn't exactly want to leave his spot next to Eikichi, but he doesn't want to hold it either. He's wondering if he could lob it into the laundry bag from here, even though it's a little far. For now he holds it and--
Ah! His attention returns to Eikichi immediately after the speedo offer and his cheeks go a little pink. "I mean, tempting? But I think right now, I'd kinda prefer you to be kissing me again. That's the boyfriend perk, right? Unlimited kisses from Eikichi Mishina! And it's kinda criminal we've only had one so far today..."
"Should I hold you pin you against the wall then?" He winks before quickly adding, "Kidding! Kidding!"
Unless...
Eikichi takes the towel from his hands, like he knows exactly what Junpei is thinking, and gets up to lock the door, throwing the towel behind his back as far as he can toss it. It smacks on the wall and lands on the floor next to where the door for the bathroom would be. Junpei would know by now that Eikcihi keeps the room meticulously clean so this is very unusual for him to not put in the time and care.
Or maybe he just has someone else on his mind. He looks back at Junpei slowly, seizing him up. No more waiting. No more interruptions. There's a mischievous glint in his eyes again as he comes back to him and the bed, and crawls closer.
"You're right, it is downright deplorable." His voice is lower again and there's a growl at the back of his throat. Eikichi can be shy sometimes and let the mask slip, but for some reason his confidence is extremely high when he's around Junpei. Like he could step into fire and not be hurt (this is a lie and he would be) and do whatever he damn wants. So he goes for a second kiss, feeling their lips touch and meet in bliss, hopefully one of many more they would have that morning and afternoon and night.
Listen. Junpei's not opposed to the being pinned against the wall thing for other reasons, just not confessing a crush! That's like testifying under duress!! Especially when your (now) boyfriend is a human lie detector. So Junpei shrugs with a smirk at the offer. "You could. But maybe you should just pin me to the bed instead."
Wait. Ah. Junpei's saying this shit without thinking about the implications. Not that the heated kiss from earlier was any chaste thing and not that Junpei hasn't gone there in his mind several times since realizing he liked Eikichi, fantasizing about any which position one could imagine so long as it was the two of them somehow entangled together. But there's fantasy and then there's reality. And the reality is Junpei's never been with anyone before like that, so he's a little shy about navigating these new waters.
But then Eikichi looks at him like that and he speaks in this thick, rich tone and Junpei so clearly understands how this guy became the boss of his school. God. He'd follow Eikichi to the ends of the Earth if Eikichi keeps using that tone. Junpei reaches up to pry off his baseball cap and fling it to the side so it won't get in the way of those kisses and then he eagerly meets Eikichi's lips. Their first kiss was wonderful. 10/10, no notes. But this one comes after they've talked and established they're together, so there's nothing to hinder it. No thoughts of things that should be addressed, no desperation to not lose one another. Just enjoying this thing of theirs now -- this thing they can call their own.
Junpei's always been drawn to Eikichi's hands -- admiring them as they worked whether cooking or drawing. He liked watching Eikichi's fingers when he would bring them to his face near his lips in those moments he was being playful or teasing or cocky. And when Junpei could get away with it, he'd reach out to touch and guide those hands himself. Now, he has free access to Eikichi's hands and Junpei blindly reaches for them, leading arms to wrap around him and enthusiastically placing his hands on the small of his back -- ensuring Eikichi's fingers can dip beneath his shirt and have full access to his bare skin. Because that would be nice, he thinks. Those fingers roaming freely along his spine. He shivers just thinking about it.
In the meantime, their kiss! It's impassioned and just as bruising as before, but this time, Junpei parts his lips. He doesn't really know what he's doing, but it feels right to deepen the kiss and taste Eikichi with his tongue.
"...Is that what's on your mind each day?" God, Junpei's thoughts were full of twisted depravity and it makes him laugh. It also puts into perspective all the other comments Eikichi remembered that come flooding back into his mind, when he thought they were barbs at him and how he is in general to get a rise out of him. Well, that is what Junpei had been doing, just not the way Eikichi thought.
He can't help but think back to that time they found ropes and candles in Seven Sister High's Janitorial room. For...emergencies, they had hoped.
Eikichi in some ways has gotten so good at playing a role that it took over how he was before and became who he is. In truth, he hasn't really done anything like this either, unlike his friend Lisa, and is just winging it from whatever he's managed to sneak into his house without his father noticing, like all other healthy boys his age. Except he'd never really...thought about liking another boy before. Then again, if Miyabi had been a boy, it would have ended up exactly the same, just he would have needed to switch to a different type of magazine. After all, Eikcihi doesn't fall in love with how a person looks, it's their heart and personality that draws him to them. It's also why he didn't even blink at Jun and Tatsuya's public displays of brohood, just commenting on how they were making Lisa angry. He should have known that observation would come to bite him a few months later. Eikichi and Junpei, the two of them, being idiots and doing as well without realizing it.
He feels his hands being moved and sort of understands what Junpei is implying, putting them around his neck to deepen the kiss until...oh. Oh, he knew this was going to happen eventually, but it looks like they both have pent up energy. He tries to do it as well, but it's not perfect. Hesitant, a little unsure how he's suppose to move his tongue in there. But it's fun. That's the important part, right? He takes a sharp breath through his nose and hums.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
It's April 1st SOMEWHERE in the world
He's so, so stupid.
The day rolls into evening, the evening rolls into night. At least, he's pretty sure as his leaf warns him it's close to his usual bedtime and he looks back at his drawings before closing his sketchbook, when he stops at his page where he'd been searching for Junpei, his eyes wide when he spots his writing.
If I'm ever lost again, this is where you'll find me.
"Liar." He says to the cold walls. "You're not even here..."
The room feels empty. Somehow emptier than when Junpei had disappeared the first time. The routine is surprisingly faster than usual, since he hadn't really bothered much this morning anyway. Jackson takes the entire bed next to him and he falls asleep in silence.
A dreamless night that leads to a routine morning awakening, and he gets up, sighs, and goes on autopilot again. Looking at himself in the mirror before slamming his fist on the sink, to avoid getting seven years of bad luck.
He should. He needs to talk to him. But he's afraid. Even after yesterday's talk he's terrified. Tatsuya was right, Eikichi was ride or die with someone. But what if that person wanted to just push him away? That pain...it would be like Miyabi again, and Eikichi doesn't know if he can change again or if that would just become a hopeless, crying shadow of himself.
"My other self. I will protect you no matter what."
Right. He can't just wait forever. He can't be just the small, shy, scared chubby kid he was once. Hell, he can't be like the image he projects now. He needs to stop hiding behind that fear and embrace uncertainty.
We should talk.
Come to my room.
Somehow, the leaf does him a solid, and actually punctuates the letters for him properly for the first time he's here.
INDEED IT IS
He doesn't know. He has his leaf out and several times he's pulled up their text, a place that had been full of dumb chatter, late night ramblings, or just status checks as Junpei was feeling lazy and wanted to hunt Eikichi down. This is until the chat devolved into several one-sided and unanswered texts on Eikichi's end -- trying to get Junpei to respond. The last one is dated the day he got back. And then it had been a notable silence. At one point, Junpei actually types 'i'm here' but then deletes it and tosses his leaf to the side. As far out of reach as he could.
Eikichi is clearly avoiding him. So...Junpei should respect his space. He didn't last night and that's what led to all this in the first place. So he'll just....go to bed. And he tries, but it's all sleepless. If he isn't hyperfocused on his fuck up with Eikichi, then he's thinking about everything back home. And this is how he spends his night. Come morning, he's only finally starting to doze off when the sharp sound of his leaf goes off. Awake and attentive all at once, Junpei practically bolts to the device -- grabbing it and hesitating to look. What if it's not Eikichi? What if he gets his hopes up for nothing?
But when he finally looks down, he feels like he can breathe again. It is Eikichi! He read it and then the dread of the message sinks in. It's....pretty serious. Even written all proper-like. Is.....that a bad sign? Is Junpei about to be dumped as a friend?? Well, maybe he can save this. First, he responds just so Eikichi knows he's here:
ok
And that's it. Junpei throws on a pair of clothes and makes his way to Eikichi's room. He stands at the door, collects all the courage he has, and then enters -- immediately launching into his apology. "I'm so sorry, man. It was my fault. I should have said something sooner. There you were taking all the blame and I was the one who laid down next to you in the first place. My head was a mess and I wasn't thinking clearly and holding onto you felt like the only real thing in the world and then I fell asleep like that....and I didn't mean for it to--"
If Eikichi doesn't cut him off, Junpei's about to keep talking in circles here.
no subject
That Junpei wouldn't reply, which thankfully wasn't the case.
That Junpei wouldn't really care, and the answer he gave back worried him.
That Junpei would tell him to forget it, he wasn't sure what was happening right now. Was trying to apologize for what Eikichi had done to him? Or had Junpei done it? Fuck, he doesn't know anymore. His head is spinning. Memories of when he was much younger surfacing and what happened then. Humiliation. Change. Fear. He's only half-listening because his ears start ringing, his heart beating. There's something bubbling over his entire body that makes him close his eyes briefly and a need to shut out all the noise. Suddenly, he moves with surprising speed from where he was standing when Junpei walked in, and he pins the other boy to the wall like he'd done for so many students at Kasugayama High, holding him with both hands by the collar.
"Enough!"
His tone of voice is lower, like the time he'd 'threatened' him with the sushi knife. Not exactly angry, but there's something visceral about it. His red-orange eyes glare at him as his breathing increases. Like he's searching for something behind the other's gaze. Something. Anything. Hades told him he had his back. Alright then. Let's just cut to the chase and pass Junpei through the lie detector test. Lay it all bare in its purest form and stop dancing around it. After all, if it fails, it's not like they'd stay friends anyway. Who'd want to be when a guy who reacts like that when you apologize to them, after all.
"Do you like me?"
no subject
The question, however, is like a slap in the face. Junpei looks up at Eikichi with rising horror because he can't read his tone. He doesn't know what will happen when he answers. And Eikichi has effectively trapped him -- tell the truth and he'll know. Tell a lie and he'll know. Either way, it'll come out now unless he chooses not to answer. But somehow that feels like the worst possible thing he could do.
There's a brief moment of shame and he looks away, like he's done something wrong just by liking him. But in the end, Junpei does what he has to -- for the sake of their relationship. Maybe he can still salvage this if it all goes bad. He draws in a breath, meets Eikichi's eyes and faces this head on. Come what may.
"Yeah." It's no lie. And Junpei follows it up with: "So what? What's wrong with that? It's not like anything has to change!"
no subject
Yeah.
Everything stops. All the pressure, the steam, released suddenly. Not exactly the type of confession Eikichi had imagined, but it's so very Junpei he almost wants to cry. A weight that's been lifted of his shoulders, he briefly lowers his head to the wall next to Junpei, still holding on to him.
"Finally, the mind follows the heart." Hades? What?
"...No you fucking idiot." He replies. "This changes everything!" His voice is low, dangerous. Every word is deliberately slow, weighted. Deep breaths. One, two, three, he doesn't know how long he stares at the ground to compose himself. He likes him. He understands what Hades means now as he traces back steps of their interactions together. There were...so many clues. It was so obvious. Each time Eikichi thought it was just the type of guy Junpei was. When had it begun? When did they go from being friends to having feelings for each other? How much had Junpei have to hide it as Eikichi continued to blissfully be himself? How did he not notice sooner?
He's the fucking idiot.
Eikichi takes another breath and looks back at him. His eyes deranged. Feeling like a tsunami building up inside his chest and coming closer and closer to land. Closer. He studies Junpei's face like it's the first time he's seen it in his life. Closer. The heat of their foreheads touching. Closer. The soft breath of the other touching his cheeks. Closer. He needs to be closer to him. To finish that connection that he didn't realize he had wanted this badly.
Closer. Desperately.
no subject
For a moment, all they share is space and air. Both of those things are decreasing by the moment. Changes it how?? But Junpei knows the answer as heat collects beneath his skin, coloring his cheeks. Eikichi is magnetic and Junpei is drawn ever closer to his pull. There's so much Junpei needs to tell him. So many things he should say, things he should explain, things they should talk about. Because they're supposed to be talking, right? Tatsuya definitely said to talk. But at the moment, Junpei's drowning and the only thing that could save him is Eikichi.
Releasing his grip on Eikichi's wrists now that there's no chance of Eikichi escaping him, Junpei instead plants his hands on Eikichi's cheeks and he crashes into him -- meeting the force of that impending wave with his lips. It's desperate. It's bruising. It's months of pent up tension finally getting some resolution. He'd spent quite some time imagining this moment. It was never like this, but Junpei prefers this, he thinks. It's clumsy. It's mutual. It's them.
When did Eikichi realize? Was it sometime over their day apart? Was it only in this moment now? Was it during their week long separation? Or maybe like Junpei, it had been boiling beneath the surface all along and just needed the right catalyst to be brought to light. Junpei has so many questions. The kiss answers none of them, but Junpei can't seem to find it within him to pull back. Not now. Not ever.
no subject
I'd bet he'd hate to lose what you guys have.
"Suou, you fucking asshole," he thinks, "you knew didn't you?"
He lowers Junpei to the ground, gently, without breaking their connection. The heat burning and building in his stomach like he's swallowed fire from the kiss, the slight pain on his lips as he wants more. He feels so alive, with each loud thump of his beating heart. If only it could continue forever. But he needs air. After plunging into deep waters, he finally pulls back and draws a loud breath, still hunched over Junpei, his forehead to his. There are tears in his eyes as he laughs.
"Ha ha ha...maybe I should have taken that initial offer at the kissing booth. That might have speed things up sooner."
no subject
Eikichi sets him down and Junpei gives him a shove. As far as shoves go, it's pretty toothless. He didn't even put enough strength behind it to knock Eikichi over -- because he doesn't really want him to go far. "You fucking asshole! Who fucking does that?? Who fucking forces someone to confess in the most menacing way possible?!"
Eikichi, apparently. Honestly maybe Chidori, too. Fuck. Junpei's seeing his type so damn clearly right now.
"What if I wasn't ready?" He grumbles, anger already cooling to mild annoyance and with a sigh, it's gone entirely.
no subject
"Heh heh..." he chuckles under his breath before turning his gaze at Junpei again, adding, "Sorry, sorry. I panicked. I figured if you didn't, you'd avoid me and never want to be close again. And that...seemed better than having to see you all the time." It says a lot about Eikichi's mindset, and the sensitive subject of rejection and mockery that had affected his early life.
no subject
"This doesn't have a happy ending. You know that, Eiki-chin. Someday we're gonna go home and we won't remember any of this." It's with an odd amount of maturity that Junpei speaks. Had this happened before, he would have sworn he could fight the powers that be and get them some kind of nice, neat happily ever after. But Junpei now knows things are bleak for both of them and he won't approach it with blind optimism. "I'm also not the same guy I was just a week ago..."
He looks up, meeting those red-tinted eyes. Junpei could so easily get lost in Eikichi's gaze. "I like you, Eikichi. So much. I didn't know it until those last few nights I was here... but I think I have for a while now. Fuck. Maybe I always did? But I'd get it if you'd rather...just stay friends, knowing everything we know."
no subject
"Wouldn't be the first time I get threatened with losing my memories, right?" he smirks, looking at him dangerously again. Sorry Junpei, but he's not going to leave you now. "Yeah, you're right, you sound more mature." Eikichi gives him a slight hit of his elbow in Junpei's stomach, teasing. "Or maybe not? You're really fucking stupid if after all of that, you'd think I just want to stay friends, Iori."
no subject
For now, it looks like they're doing this? Yeah. They're doing this. It's funny how it can simultaneously feel like nothing and everything has changed.
"Okay."
It's a simple agreement yet significant. God, Junpei burns with a need to kiss Eikichi again. But there's still something else. Something left unspoken. "I need to show you something."
Junpei finally lets go of Eikichi's hand and he steps into his own space, pausing for a moment to look for Jackson. He holds up one finger in a silent bid for Eikichi to give him a minute and he picks up the cat, turning to where the bathroom usually appears. Junpei brings Jackson there just to protect his sensitive ears, murmuring an assurance that he'll let him out in just a few minutes. And then Junpei returns to Eikichi, removing his evoker and bringing it to his head. He summons his persona the typical way, but what appears is not Hermes. Well. Not entirely. Trismegistus floats there, an image of stark reds and golds.
"Eikichi...meet Chidori," he smiles sadly, glancing at the persona. "Remember how I said I died? Well, Chidori gave me her life so that I could live. Hermes and Medea joined and created Trismegistus. I always thought she'd like you. Now I know it's true in my heart." There's this sort of calm deep down. It's not a voice but a feeling -- a sense of approval for Eikichi. It's like she's offering her blessing. His eyes shine with unshed tears, but even so he's smiling. God. It just...he just feels happy for the first time since returning.
no subject
He repeats the word like they were entering a demon Contract
Junpei where are his Magician cards. He looks a little confused. Wait, there's more? He waits, perplexed as the bathroom appears and and Junpei places Jackson in there.A month. Right. A month was more than enough for him to go from Rhadamanthus to Rhadamanthus Prime to Hades. The fact Junpei had evolved his Persona wasn't a surprise. It's what it represented. Why Junpei was still here and how he'd been able to come back. Because of her. Eikichi owed her so much he didn't even know what to say and stood there a few seconds in dumb silence.
"I...Junpei...that type of love is one-of-a-kind," he says with a small smile. "But I think I know exactly how she felt." He'd offer his life for Junpei as much as he'd give it to Miyabi. It's a goddamn tragedy, but he understands exactly how Chidori was without having ever met her. Junpei seemed to have that effect on very specific people. The tears flow freely out of his eyes, making his mascara run. "You were...so lucky to have her."
It's funny. Most people at first glance would assume like they were each other's replacements, but it's far from that. You can't snuff out that type of love. You have to appreciate each burst of light for what it is. Death comes for all, after all, but it's also what makes life so precious and beautiful.
no subject
Twice. He was someone's choice twice.
He looks at Trismegistus and makes a silent promise to the part of him that's Chidori. He promises he won't waste a second with Eikichi. He promises he won't take the time they have for granted. He swears he'll live every day to its fullest by the other persona user's side. And Trismegistus nods its head as though in approval before fading away.
"The luckiest, man. I didn't know what we meant to each other until it was too late, though. But now she's with me and I'll never forget it." ....well, until he does. But maybe he won't. Tatsuya said something about his heart remembering. Maybe it will be like that with Chidori. And maybe it will be the same with Eikichi.
Junpei moves toward the bathroom to let Jackson come out. And his hand freezes on the door handle. With Eikichi. Wait. Wait a minute. His eyes widen and he looks at Eikichi suddenly. "I....saw you. Back home. On TV one night."
Jackson trots out. Junpei moves from the door. The bathroom disappears. How did he forget this?? "You were being interviewed. And I remember thinking 'wow. That guy looks cool as hell.'" It wasn't much. It wasn't recognition. But he'd stopped on the channel. He'd taken notice of Eikichi. And it made enough of a mark for him to remember it now. Eikichi is there in the world. In his world. And even if Junpei doesn't remember what they had here, he'll be facing off against Nyx so that Eikichi can keep living his successful life. That makes it worth it. That makes all of it worth it.
"Heh. My boyfriend's a time traveler."
Wait. He immediately goes red. Is....is that the right word? Boyfriend?
no subject
He dries his tears as Junpei let's out the cat from the bathroom. Jackson gives a small mew at the both of them before it goes to sleep in its potted plant it had been so horribly taken out of suddenly. Rude.
Then Junpei drops a bombshell about his own future, and it piques Eikichi's curiosity. He knows he shouldn't really think about it, but it's hard to not be enticed by the idea.
"So I graced your television set and you remembered me? I hate to be a heartbreaker, but that was probably an older me, not your time travelling boyfriend." It was almost effortless how he had slipped into that role, pretty much how he was able to summon his persona. Eikichi had years of practise the fake it til you make it, after all. "But who knows what happens in the future, right?" He winks at him. "Let's think about the now, boyfriend."
no subject
"Well, boyfriend. Your makeup's a little messed up right now. Not that I don't find you hot no matter what, buuut just sayin'. If you wanted to get cleaned up and you needed a hand, I got two to spare." Junpei teases right back. "Then again, you're not fifty, so I suppose you wouldn't need the help."
Just playfully throwing Eikichi's words back at him from the other night. Time to play a round of Eikichi's greatest missed opportunities with that reminder. Junpei makes his way toward one of the mattresses on the floor and plops onto it. Eyebrows raise in slight challenge as though to say: your move, bro.
1/2
A lot.
"Fine! You're right. I was totally dense. I can't believe - actually gimme a sec, I need to send something to Suou. Hey Leaf-chan! Please send a message to Tatsuya for me; Hey you fucking asshole, you already knew, didn't you? Well fuck you. And put a little heart emoji next to it."
2/2
"Fine then, if you want to help me out, just take it all off." He lowers his voice slightly. "I don't think I'll be needing it for the rest of the day."
Now it's his turn to dare him on.
no subject
He accepts the towel and swabs it smoothly across Eikichi's skin. It's a funny thing. He can imagine doing this just as easily for both removing makeup and swiping up some blood after a fight. That's just the two sides of Eikichi Mishina, huh? Beautiful and dangerous. Of course, Eikichi's not only two sides. Junpei would liken him to something more like a diamond -- multi faceted and highly valuable (at least to Junpei).
"But it's fine, dude. You not catching on. Heh. I....only realized when you, uh. Borrowed Sumire's costume," he lets out a laugh -- half embarrassed but half genuinely amused. "It looked really fricken good on you."
1/2
At that comment, he thinks back to when it happened and...
"Wait a minute. Is that why you had me pose?"
no subject
"Do you want me to do it again? I don't have Sumire's outfit anymore but I'm pretty sure I have an equivalent of a speedo somewhere."
Cause he does remember saying that.
no subject
He's not sure what to do with the damp towel now. Junpei doesn't exactly want to leave his spot next to Eikichi, but he doesn't want to hold it either. He's wondering if he could lob it into the laundry bag from here, even though it's a little far. For now he holds it and--
Ah! His attention returns to Eikichi immediately after the speedo offer and his cheeks go a little pink. "I mean, tempting? But I think right now, I'd kinda prefer you to be kissing me again. That's the boyfriend perk, right? Unlimited kisses from Eikichi Mishina! And it's kinda criminal we've only had one so far today..."
no subject
Unless...
Eikichi takes the towel from his hands, like he knows exactly what Junpei is thinking, and gets up to lock the door, throwing the towel behind his back as far as he can toss it. It smacks on the wall and lands on the floor next to where the door for the bathroom would be. Junpei would know by now that Eikcihi keeps the room meticulously clean so this is very unusual for him to not put in the time and care.
Or maybe he just has someone else on his mind. He looks back at Junpei slowly, seizing him up. No more waiting. No more interruptions. There's a mischievous glint in his eyes again as he comes back to him and the bed, and crawls closer.
"You're right, it is downright deplorable." His voice is lower again and there's a growl at the back of his throat. Eikichi can be shy sometimes and let the mask slip, but for some reason his confidence is extremely high when he's around Junpei. Like he could step into fire and not be hurt (this is a lie and he would be) and do whatever he damn wants. So he goes for a second kiss, feeling their lips touch and meet in bliss, hopefully one of many more they would have that morning and afternoon and night.
no subject
Wait. Ah. Junpei's saying this shit without thinking about the implications. Not that the heated kiss from earlier was any chaste thing and not that Junpei hasn't gone there in his mind several times since realizing he liked Eikichi, fantasizing about any which position one could imagine so long as it was the two of them somehow entangled together. But there's fantasy and then there's reality. And the reality is Junpei's never been with anyone before like that, so he's a little shy about navigating these new waters.
But then Eikichi looks at him like that and he speaks in this thick, rich tone and Junpei so clearly understands how this guy became the boss of his school. God. He'd follow Eikichi to the ends of the Earth if Eikichi keeps using that tone. Junpei reaches up to pry off his baseball cap and fling it to the side so it won't get in the way of those kisses and then he eagerly meets Eikichi's lips. Their first kiss was wonderful. 10/10, no notes. But this one comes after they've talked and established they're together, so there's nothing to hinder it. No thoughts of things that should be addressed, no desperation to not lose one another. Just enjoying this thing of theirs now -- this thing they can call their own.
Junpei's always been drawn to Eikichi's hands -- admiring them as they worked whether cooking or drawing. He liked watching Eikichi's fingers when he would bring them to his face near his lips in those moments he was being playful or teasing or cocky. And when Junpei could get away with it, he'd reach out to touch and guide those hands himself. Now, he has free access to Eikichi's hands and Junpei blindly reaches for them, leading arms to wrap around him and enthusiastically placing his hands on the small of his back -- ensuring Eikichi's fingers can dip beneath his shirt and have full access to his bare skin. Because that would be nice, he thinks. Those fingers roaming freely along his spine. He shivers just thinking about it.
In the meantime, their kiss! It's impassioned and just as bruising as before, but this time, Junpei parts his lips. He doesn't really know what he's doing, but it feels right to deepen the kiss and taste Eikichi with his tongue.
no subject
He can't help but think back to that time they found ropes and candles in Seven Sister High's Janitorial room. For...emergencies, they had hoped.
Eikichi in some ways has gotten so good at playing a role that it took over how he was before and became who he is. In truth, he hasn't really done anything like this either, unlike his friend Lisa, and is just winging it from whatever he's managed to sneak into his house without his father noticing, like all other healthy boys his age. Except he'd never really...thought about liking another boy before. Then again, if Miyabi had been a boy, it would have ended up exactly the same, just he would have needed to switch to a different type of magazine. After all, Eikcihi doesn't fall in love with how a person looks, it's their heart and personality that draws him to them. It's also why he didn't even blink at Jun and Tatsuya's public displays of brohood, just commenting on how they were making Lisa angry. He should have known that observation would come to bite him a few months later. Eikichi and Junpei, the two of them, being idiots and doing as well without realizing it.
He feels his hands being moved and sort of understands what Junpei is implying, putting them around his neck to deepen the kiss until...oh. Oh, he knew this was going to happen eventually, but it looks like they both have pent up energy. He tries to do it as well, but it's not perfect. Hesitant, a little unsure how he's suppose to move his tongue in there. But it's fun. That's the important part, right? He takes a sharp breath through his nose and hums.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
cw: there do be some sexytimes from here on out lol
cw: here be penni (but not the pasta kind)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
not a real tag
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
Me trying not to laugh at that entire tag challenge impossible
x) hehehe embrace the stupidity
Is this porn or is this a comedy a pornmedy, if you will
ALL OF THE ABOVE
>B] 1 tag until disaster lmao
5...4...3....
...2...1...
c r y i n g lol
What is porn but not a comedy
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
Not an actual real bonus tag